looking back at the past...
these few days it just linger in my head wheather i was meant for her... wheather we are suppose to be together... or maybe we live in so different lifes that things would just not work out... the truth is.. i do not know the answer... everytime i think about it... it just start to hurt... thinking back of the times we were together... when i was just on top of the world when we are together... i always thought that it'll last for a very long time... i don;t know if 2 years is long... but in that 2 years we just got hurt.. went to somone else... when it felt wrong.. that someone would be just put aside and we will get back together... i also thought that maybe we were meant for each other... but again and again and again.. i was wrong...
some people who were there for me said that just give it time.. after awhile.. u will get back on your feet and go on with your own life... i knew it a long time that time doesnt heal your wounds... it just helps you to get over it.. that is if your lucky... i have spent 3 almost for months picking up where i left off... till today... i still feel the pain inside... if u asked me today if i'd regret staying back here for this girl... being with this girl.. or loving this girl.. the answer is no... i do not regret.. though she had made me gone through hell.. but she also showed me alot of things... its also one of the reasons i still have her chain on... think of me as a pathetic fuck... i do not care... i am now that better person because of her...
2 years ago.. people like matt, sandra, marcia and her were the only people that i appreaciate.. the people that i value... even though all of us are seperated to our own worlds... i will always keep those memories in my heart... like late nite sneak out into the park.. under the tunnel.. late nite calls... calling each other stupid names.. pool... brewball.. confirmation.. outings to one utama and mid valley... baby do u still love me?.. poyo.. lala shuffle dance.. yea... it is true that good memories do keep you alive... but anyways i am only 17.. you would never know what will happen in the future.. so yea.. i will always love you...
posted by john five @ 11:17 PM
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