Sunday, December 31, 2006

traumatized...

it's been a very long time since i blogged... so yea.. life is full of shit now... i have no life, no job... basicly nothing here... i sometimes dunno what the fuck im still doing here.. just stoning and burning time... hoping and wishing that god would just grant me wings so i can fuck off and die..

yesterday, someone got drunk and msged me... i dunno why does she have to do that.. i'm being honest now... i still do love you... but don't make it harder than it already is... it's already so damn hard to find myself now.. i do still wanna call u up late at nite and talk to you or do the stuff we normally do... but it's too hard... its even hard being around here... i cannot take it when the memories linger in my mind and haunt me everytime i see you... like u said the last time.. its just too hard being around.. its already affecting me so badly... so please dun make it any harder...

things really haven being going very well for me... untill now i still cant find myself.. or figure out what is wrong with myself.. suprisingly only my kor realsizes that i haven been being myself...
i really wonder how am i suppose to get out of this nightmare before it screws me up left, right, center... yea... i only have less than 5 weeks here before i'm flying off to america.. btw.. merry christmas and a happy new year everyone...